FROM THE GREAT DANE... YOUSSEF

PEOPLE PICKING ON KATE WINSLET'S FEET

Kate feet Kate shoes

by Dane Youssef

I've been reading a lot online all the fan feedback on Katie Winslet.

Especially the endless flood of gossip on the net scorning Ms. Kate, the English Rose herself having unnaturally enormous feet.

Particularly for someone of her diminutive height.

And they’re not just big. But big giant gross cheesy Paul Bunyan’s that look like they belong to a big greasy flabby trucker who goes days without taking his shoes off.

Wow…

The female bloggers online have really been ridiculing Katie to absolute scorn. Women cliques can really do that when they get together.

OK, I think it’s safe to say (and we can all safely agree) that women live to compare, analyze and over-gloss over everything about their bodies.

And not just. But their properties. All the stuff they’ve got. Hair, clothes, shoes, makeup, purses, jewelry, etc.

And as we all know, it can really bring them together…

People nitpick so god dammed much.

I think there is such a thing as “too much.” She’s one of the most beautiful women out there and one of the finest and most successful actresses working today.

But even the most glamorous woman has a slight flaw about her. We are all flawed to some degree, even the best of us.

Too much has been made about those feet of hers. People keep make a big stink about her feet–and that’s not meant to be some cheap shot.

But come on. Ease up. Give the poor girl a break. They are feet. Not her face.

What do you do with your feet? You WALK ON THEM. You jump up and down with them.

And when you do, they absorb the shock.

And girls, you give you a little more to gossip about—she’s never had a pedicure. In her whole life.

Not one.

The poor woman’s stompers look particularly bad because they’re whopping size 11 and so dear Katie Bear only wear combat boots. She’s been nicknamed “Combat Kate.”

She’s gone on and on about how they’re a size 11, even though she’s a mere 5’6”. When she worked with the former heartbreaker Leo DiCaprio on “Titanic,” he noticed that their feet were exactly the same size.

They even played patty-cake with their feet. He’s a man at 6’1” and she’s less than 5’6”.

She only wears nice dressy shoes with heels when she has to, which is on the red carpet or when she’s on talk shows. And even then they don’t fit, so she’s usually in HORRIBLE PAIN when she’s out there.

Shoes are nearly impossible to find in her size. Especially nice ones. She often has to wear men’s shoes.

She wears boots instead of heels. She uses socks and pantyhose like every other woman.

You know, the Winslet feet-haters are right–-HOW DARE such a beautiful starlet be born with such gargantuan dogs.

HOW DARE she not be able to find decent shoes.

HOW DARE her feet be able all deformed and damaged looking because of it.

You know something–let’s not like her anymore!

Screw her great work and all her Oscar nominations!

Let’s kick her out of Hollywood. Out of show-business, even! Let’s stop going to her movies. Push her into obscurity.

Look, let’s be fair and honest here–FEET WERE MADE for walking on. STANDING on. JUMPING on. They don’t just need to look like they solely exist to model an expensive pedicure.

She’s not a goddess.

She’s not infallible.

She’s not immortal.

She’s just a person.

She’s not allowed to sweat? Have foot odor after a long, hard day in boots? Being a star means she’s forbidden.

Like every other human. Would you like to go and tell her that? Tell her she should sweat perfume?

Maybe her feet would be nicer if she had time to get her feet done professionally, but she DOESN'T.

She’s busy being a professional movie star, a wife and mother—as well as a model. Check out her shots online. She has the face, cheekbones, eyes and hair that most women would lose a limb for. Many of them are actually spending millions of dollars to get them.

Look, take it from me—I’ve taken ballet for almost nine years. There are a lot of strikingly lovely ladies in the class. A few of them look like models. I have taken ballet for several years now and many of the women dancers there constantly go on (too much, in my opinion) with their feet.

The size, the damage that comes from dancing. How hard it is to find Pointe shoes that fit and the damage they cause once you do.

But their feet look like they either walk on white-hot coals for a living, heavily into Chinese foot-binding or coming down with leprosy. They complain a lot, I’ve even see some of them bleed. But as they say, “It’s all for the ballet! The dance! Sacrifice…”

And you know something… they move like sprites. Pixies. They almost float. The feet may look mashed and decomposed. Even reek from across the room. But it’s the price one pays for greatness.

Sacrifice. What would YOU DO for greatness?

And all these nice ladies still look flawless everywhere else. As does Mrs. Kate. So there you go.

Look, just keep the camera above here ankles, huh?

Well, that’s my take. What’s yours?

———–Sincerely Yours, Dane Youssef

FOR KATE

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