"Genitori cercasi:" AN ASSAULT ON FAMILY FILM
by Dane Youssef
NOW HERE IS A MOVIE so wrong-headed, wrong-hearted, wrong-made... so wrong, you'd think (or rather, hope) the old axiom of a broken clock that's right twice a day would prove. But nope. Doesn't. By a long shot.
Ah, "North, o Puto Maravilha" The "Showgirls" of family films. Oh wait, "Showgirls" actually has a few fans.
But it is also one of those notorious, infamous for it's absolute awfulness. So much that it has it's own little following of those who just "have to see it to believe it, to see what all the fuss is all about." All this smoke... people want to see the towering inferno.
One of my most depressing experiences as a child was seeing Rob Reiner's "North, o Puto Maravilha" In fact, as extensive internet research has shown me, it was a painful experience for many as children and stayed with him throughout adulthood.
One of the worst movies of the year. One of the worst movies of the decade. One of the worst movies ever made. One of the worst ever. And when I say "worst", I'm comparing it to things like the Plague, Holocaust, World Hunger, AIDS and Leperocy.
Elijah Wood is a wonder-boy who is constantly ignored by his parents despite his best intentions and efforts that make most parents beam like the sun with pride. He spends a lot of time feeling ignored and sits in a chair in a furniture store at the mall to think. He decides he deserves better parents than the ones he's got (who doesn't?) and divorces them. He travels all over the globe and finds surrogate folks which are not right for him. Not loving, caring, nurturing... or very funny or interesting.
His best friend from school is enthusiastic about the divorce and gets the word out to all parents that children deserve better and thing better change or else.
While it is a thrill to see Jason Alexander and Julia Louis-Dreyfus together as a married couple and action legend Bruce Willis in an easter bunny suit... believe me, it doesn't last. The bad outweighs the good. Oh, HOW the bad outweighs... I was actually in physical pain watching how badly the film's plot is handled.
The big-name celebrity bit-players are many: Aykroyd, McEntire, Lovitz, Willis, Greene, Vigoda, Belzer, Stein, Godunov, McGillis, Ritter, Johansson and Arkin; among others.
Films with a big-name cast doing walk-ons is kind of tricky. Often this leads to a bunch of actors embarrassing themselves in bit throwaway roles for a quickie paycheck and "the sake of work." It all really depends on the film itself; the screenplay and director.
When a film with such a high pedigree of actors and filmmaker, Mr. Rob Reiner, you have to wonder why this whole damn thing went so incredibly wrong. And then kept going. And going and going. I am reminded of the legendary quote, "Only those who dare to fail greatly, can achieve greatly." And just about all who flaunt this picture have achieved greatly at one time or another. So... there you go. The Ying to the Yang.
The result can be "Traffic." Or the result can be "Even Cowgirls Get The Blues."
You know, it's funny. When I first saw the trailer, I thought to myself, "Wow. This looks like a good movie. I'm gonna see this one."
And yes, the trailer damn well made this look like a good one. It just goes to show you... advertisements can make anything look appealing. Hey, remember "Babe: Pig In The City?" The ads didn't make the movie look like much. But the movie was... wow.
Hey, come to think of it-- I would like to advise to everyone who was unfortunate enough to see any more of this one that what they used for the trailers (so much as a frame more) to go out and rent "Babe II."
It's an ideal antidote. Of course, you may need a few days of bed-rest and antibiotics right after seeing "North," but after that... please... don't let this one put you off movies. Or any of the truly gifted people who were associated with this abomination.
Wood is one of the most talented actors ever to grace the business and the man seems unable to do a bad job on screen. Just check out "Radio Flyer" for evidence. But hey, like I need to tell you, right? But while his acting is on-par with Brando, Guiness, Hopkins, etc; not every movie to come his way compliments his talents. Just after the disastrous misfire "The Good Son," this one floated it's way into theaters like a chunky, nutty, crooked turd after a whole year of improper diet. Adding further insult to injury.
Seriously, I actually picture Jesus H. Christ himself on the cross, thinking to himself, "I died for this... ? If I'd known, I wouldn't have bothered." We all make mistakes, even colossal ones. Even the best of us.
Hell, especially the best of us! Disney was an anti-Semite, L. Ron was a pedophile, R. Crumb is a racist and misogynistic sycophant. And I myself...
In summary, "North, o Puto Maravilha" is a childhood trauma that refuses to be repressed. For many, including myself. Don't let it be yours.
Still, we are all mortal. We are all human. We all make mistakes, we stumble, falter. No one of us are infallible. Rob Reiner has delivered us "When Harry Met Sally," "The Sure Thing," "This Is Spinal Tap," "The Princess Bride" and "The American President." Surely, can't we forgive "North, o Puto Maravilha"? "Only those who dare to fail greatly can achieve greatly."
And Reiner has clearly done both. Let us at this as one of humanity's greatest follies... and try to find laughter in it. Not at the movie itself, which is clearly impossible, but at the movie's expense. Laugh, my children. Laugh, not with, AT, you see.
OK, Mr. Reiner. You are officially forgiven. I already look forward to your next effort behind the camera. May you achieve as big a piece of the rock as fellow '70's-era actor-idol idol Ron Howard.
Good luck, Godspeed... and let's hope--sorry, PRAY another abomination like this isn't in the works.
Peace...
--Love, Dane Youssef
danessf@yahoo.com
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=58175682
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Friday, November 25, 2011
"Det perfekte barn": A DIRE WARNING by Dane Youssef
"Det perfekte barn:" A DIRE WARNING
by Dane Youssef
NOW HERE IS A MOVIE so wrong-headed, wrong-hearted, wrong-made... so wrong, you'd think (or rather, hope) the old axiom of a broken clock that's right twice a day would prove. But nope. Doesn't. By a long shot.
Ah, "North, o Puto Maravilha" The "Showgirls" of family films. Oh wait, "Showgirls" actually has a few fans.
But it is also one of those notorious, infamous for it's absolute awfulness. So much that it has it's own little following of those who just "have to see it to believe it, to see what all the fuss is all about." All this smoke... people want to see the towering inferno.
One of my most depressing experiences as a child was seeing Rob Reiner's "North, o Puto Maravilha" In fact, as extensive internet research has shown me, it was a painful experience for many as children and stayed with him throughout adulthood.
One of the worst movies of the year. One of the worst movies of the decade. One of the worst movies ever made. One of the worst ever. And when I say "worst", I'm comparing it to things like the Plague, Holocaust, World Hunger, AIDS and Leperocy.
Elijah Wood is a wonder-boy who is constantly ignored by his parents despite his best intentions and efforts that make most parents beam like the sun with pride. He spends a lot of time feeling ignored and sits in a chair in a furniture store at the mall to think. He decides he deserves better parents than the ones he's got (who doesn't?) and divorces them. He travels all over the globe and finds surrogate folks which are not right for him. Not loving, caring, nurturing... or very funny or interesting.
His best friend from school is enthusiastic about the divorce and gets the word out to all parents that children deserve better and thing better change or else.
While it is a thrill to see Jason Alexander and Julia Louis-Dreyfus together as a married couple and action legend Bruce Willis in an easter bunny suit... believe me, it doesn't last. The bad outweighs the good. Oh, HOW the bad outweighs... I was actually in physical pain watching how badly the film's plot is handled.
The big-name celebrity bit-players are many: Aykroyd, McEntire, Lovitz, Willis, Greene, Vigoda, Belzer, Stein, Godunov, McGillis, Ritter, Johansson and Arkin; among others.
Films with a big-name cast doing walk-ons is kind of tricky. Often this leads to a bunch of actors embarrassing themselves in bit throwaway roles for a quickie paycheck and "the sake of work." It all really depends on the film itself; the screenplay and director.
When a film with such a high pedigree of actors and filmmaker, Mr. Rob Reiner, you have to wonder why this whole damn thing went so incredibly wrong. And then kept going. And going and going. I am reminded of the legendary quote, "Only those who dare to fail greatly, can achieve greatly." And just about all who flaunt this picture have achieved greatly at one time or another. So... there you go. The Ying to the Yang.
The result can be "Traffic." Or the result can be "Even Cowgirls Get The Blues."
You know, it's funny. When I first saw the trailer, I thought to myself, "Wow. This looks like a good movie. I'm gonna see this one."
And yes, the trailer damn well made this look like a good one. It just goes to show you... advertisements can make anything look appealing. Hey, remember "Babe: Pig In The City?" The ads didn't make the movie look like much. But the movie was... wow.
Hey, come to think of it-- I would like to advise to everyone who was unfortunate enough to see any more of this one that what they used for the trailers (so much as a frame more) to go out and rent "Babe II."
It's an ideal antidote. Of course, you may need a few days of bed-rest and antibiotics right after seeing "North," but after that... please... don't let this one put you off movies. Or any of the truly gifted people who were associated with this abomination.
Wood is one of the most talented actors ever to grace the business and the man seems unable to do a bad job on screen. Just check out "Radio Flyer" for evidence. But hey, like I need to tell you, right? But while his acting is on-par with Brando, Guiness, Hopkins, etc; not every movie to come his way compliments his talents. Just after the disastrous misfire "The Good Son," this one floated it's way into theaters like a chunky, nutty, crooked turd after a whole year of improper diet. Adding further insult to injury.
Seriously, I actually picture Jesus H. Christ himself on the cross, thinking to himself, "I died for this... ? If I'd known, I wouldn't have bothered." We all make mistakes, even colossal ones. Even the best of us.
Hell, especially the best of us! Disney was an anti-Semite, L. Ron was a pedophile, R. Crumb is a racist and misogynistic sycophant. And I myself...
In summary, "North, o Puto Maravilha" is a childhood trauma that refuses to be repressed. For many, including myself. Don't let it be yours.
Still, we are all mortal. We are all human. We all make mistakes, we stumble, falter. No one of us are infallible. Rob Reiner has delivered us "When Harry Met Sally," "The Sure Thing," "This Is Spinal Tap," "The Princess Bride" and "The American President." Surely, can't we forgive "North, o Puto Maravilha"? "Only those who dare to fail greatly can achieve greatly."
And Reiner has clearly done both. Let us at this as one of humanity's greatest follies... and try to find laughter in it. Not at the movie itself, which is clearly impossible, but at the movie's expense. Laugh, my children. Laugh, not with, AT, you see.
OK, Mr. Reiner. You are officially forgiven. I already look forward to your next effort behind the camera. May you achieve as big a piece of the rock as fellow '70's-era actor-idol idol Ron Howard.
Good luck, Godspeed... and let's hope--sorry, PRAY another abomination like this isn't in the works.
Peace...
--Love, Dane Youssef
danessf@yahoo.com
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=58175682
http://www.google.com/profiles/youssef.daneyoussefcom.dane
http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/ASKUZHOKQ1W3E/ref=cm_pdp_rev_title_1?ie=UTF8&sort_by=MostRecentReview#R2MFYILVVRXX73
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by Dane Youssef
NOW HERE IS A MOVIE so wrong-headed, wrong-hearted, wrong-made... so wrong, you'd think (or rather, hope) the old axiom of a broken clock that's right twice a day would prove. But nope. Doesn't. By a long shot.
Ah, "North, o Puto Maravilha" The "Showgirls" of family films. Oh wait, "Showgirls" actually has a few fans.
But it is also one of those notorious, infamous for it's absolute awfulness. So much that it has it's own little following of those who just "have to see it to believe it, to see what all the fuss is all about." All this smoke... people want to see the towering inferno.
One of my most depressing experiences as a child was seeing Rob Reiner's "North, o Puto Maravilha" In fact, as extensive internet research has shown me, it was a painful experience for many as children and stayed with him throughout adulthood.
One of the worst movies of the year. One of the worst movies of the decade. One of the worst movies ever made. One of the worst ever. And when I say "worst", I'm comparing it to things like the Plague, Holocaust, World Hunger, AIDS and Leperocy.
Elijah Wood is a wonder-boy who is constantly ignored by his parents despite his best intentions and efforts that make most parents beam like the sun with pride. He spends a lot of time feeling ignored and sits in a chair in a furniture store at the mall to think. He decides he deserves better parents than the ones he's got (who doesn't?) and divorces them. He travels all over the globe and finds surrogate folks which are not right for him. Not loving, caring, nurturing... or very funny or interesting.
His best friend from school is enthusiastic about the divorce and gets the word out to all parents that children deserve better and thing better change or else.
While it is a thrill to see Jason Alexander and Julia Louis-Dreyfus together as a married couple and action legend Bruce Willis in an easter bunny suit... believe me, it doesn't last. The bad outweighs the good. Oh, HOW the bad outweighs... I was actually in physical pain watching how badly the film's plot is handled.
The big-name celebrity bit-players are many: Aykroyd, McEntire, Lovitz, Willis, Greene, Vigoda, Belzer, Stein, Godunov, McGillis, Ritter, Johansson and Arkin; among others.
Films with a big-name cast doing walk-ons is kind of tricky. Often this leads to a bunch of actors embarrassing themselves in bit throwaway roles for a quickie paycheck and "the sake of work." It all really depends on the film itself; the screenplay and director.
When a film with such a high pedigree of actors and filmmaker, Mr. Rob Reiner, you have to wonder why this whole damn thing went so incredibly wrong. And then kept going. And going and going. I am reminded of the legendary quote, "Only those who dare to fail greatly, can achieve greatly." And just about all who flaunt this picture have achieved greatly at one time or another. So... there you go. The Ying to the Yang.
The result can be "Traffic." Or the result can be "Even Cowgirls Get The Blues."
You know, it's funny. When I first saw the trailer, I thought to myself, "Wow. This looks like a good movie. I'm gonna see this one."
And yes, the trailer damn well made this look like a good one. It just goes to show you... advertisements can make anything look appealing. Hey, remember "Babe: Pig In The City?" The ads didn't make the movie look like much. But the movie was... wow.
Hey, come to think of it-- I would like to advise to everyone who was unfortunate enough to see any more of this one that what they used for the trailers (so much as a frame more) to go out and rent "Babe II."
It's an ideal antidote. Of course, you may need a few days of bed-rest and antibiotics right after seeing "North," but after that... please... don't let this one put you off movies. Or any of the truly gifted people who were associated with this abomination.
Wood is one of the most talented actors ever to grace the business and the man seems unable to do a bad job on screen. Just check out "Radio Flyer" for evidence. But hey, like I need to tell you, right? But while his acting is on-par with Brando, Guiness, Hopkins, etc; not every movie to come his way compliments his talents. Just after the disastrous misfire "The Good Son," this one floated it's way into theaters like a chunky, nutty, crooked turd after a whole year of improper diet. Adding further insult to injury.
Seriously, I actually picture Jesus H. Christ himself on the cross, thinking to himself, "I died for this... ? If I'd known, I wouldn't have bothered." We all make mistakes, even colossal ones. Even the best of us.
Hell, especially the best of us! Disney was an anti-Semite, L. Ron was a pedophile, R. Crumb is a racist and misogynistic sycophant. And I myself...
In summary, "North, o Puto Maravilha" is a childhood trauma that refuses to be repressed. For many, including myself. Don't let it be yours.
Still, we are all mortal. We are all human. We all make mistakes, we stumble, falter. No one of us are infallible. Rob Reiner has delivered us "When Harry Met Sally," "The Sure Thing," "This Is Spinal Tap," "The Princess Bride" and "The American President." Surely, can't we forgive "North, o Puto Maravilha"? "Only those who dare to fail greatly can achieve greatly."
And Reiner has clearly done both. Let us at this as one of humanity's greatest follies... and try to find laughter in it. Not at the movie itself, which is clearly impossible, but at the movie's expense. Laugh, my children. Laugh, not with, AT, you see.
OK, Mr. Reiner. You are officially forgiven. I already look forward to your next effort behind the camera. May you achieve as big a piece of the rock as fellow '70's-era actor-idol idol Ron Howard.
Good luck, Godspeed... and let's hope--sorry, PRAY another abomination like this isn't in the works.
Peace...
--Love, Dane Youssef
danessf@yahoo.com
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=58175682
http://www.google.com/profiles/youssef.daneyoussefcom.dane
http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/ASKUZHOKQ1W3E/ref=cm_pdp_rev_title_1?ie=UTF8&sort_by=MostRecentReview#R2MFYILVVRXX73
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"North, o Puto Maravilha": A NESSICARY MOVIE REVIEW by Dane Youssef
"North, o Puto Maravilha: A NESSICARY MOVIE REVIEW"
by Dane Youssef
NOW HERE IS A MOVIE so wrong-headed, wrong-hearted, wrong-made... so wrong, you'd think (or rather, hope) the old axiom of a broken clock that's right twice a day would prove. But nope. Doesn't. By a long shot.
Ah, "North, o Puto Maravilha" The "Showgirls" of family films. Oh wait, "Showgirls" actually has a few fans.
But it is also one of those notorious, infamous for it's absolute awfulness. So much that it has it's own little following of those who just "have to see it to believe it, to see what all the fuss is all about." All this smoke... people want to see the towering inferno.
One of my most depressing experiences as a child was seeing Rob Reiner's "North, o Puto Maravilha" In fact, as extensive internet research has shown me, it was a painful experience for many as children and stayed with him throughout adulthood.
One of the worst movies of the year. One of the worst movies of the decade. One of the worst movies ever made. One of the worst ever. And when I say "worst", I'm comparing it to things like the Plague, Holocaust, World Hunger, AIDS and Leperocy.
Elijah Wood is a wonder-boy who is constantly ignored by his parents despite his best intentions and efforts that make most parents beam like the sun with pride. He spends a lot of time feeling ignored and sits in a chair in a furniture store at the mall to think. He decides he deserves better parents than the ones he's got (who doesn't?) and divorces them. He travels all over the globe and finds surrogate folks which are not right for him. Not loving, caring, nurturing... or very funny or interesting.
His best friend from school is enthusiastic about the divorce and gets the word out to all parents that children deserve better and thing better change or else.
While it is a thrill to see Jason Alexander and Julia Louis-Dreyfus together as a married couple and action legend Bruce Willis in an easter bunny suit... believe me, it doesn't last. The bad outweighs the good. Oh, HOW the bad outweighs... I was actually in physical pain watching how badly the film's plot is handled.
The big-name celebrity bit-players are many: Aykroyd, McEntire, Lovitz, Willis, Greene, Vigoda, Belzer, Stein, Godunov, McGillis, Ritter, Johansson and Arkin; among others.
Films with a big-name cast doing walk-ons is kind of tricky. Often this leads to a bunch of actors embarrassing themselves in bit throwaway roles for a quickie paycheck and "the sake of work." It all really depends on the film itself; the screenplay and director.
When a film with such a high pedigree of actors and filmmaker, Mr. Rob Reiner, you have to wonder why this whole damn thing went so incredibly wrong. And then kept going. And going and going. I am reminded of the legendary quote, "Only those who dare to fail greatly, can achieve greatly." And just about all who flaunt this picture have achieved greatly at one time or another. So... there you go. The Ying to the Yang.
The result can be "Traffic." Or the result can be "Even Cowgirls Get The Blues."
You know, it's funny. When I first saw the trailer, I thought to myself, "Wow. This looks like a good movie. I'm gonna see this one."
And yes, the trailer damn well made this look like a good one. It just goes to show you... advertisements can make anything look appealing. Hey, remember "Babe: Pig In The City?" The ads didn't make the movie look like much. But the movie was... wow.
Hey, come to think of it-- I would like to advise to everyone who was unfortunate enough to see any more of this one that what they used for the trailers (so much as a frame more) to go out and rent "Babe II."
It's an ideal antidote. Of course, you may need a few days of bed-rest and antibiotics right after seeing "North," but after that... please... don't let this one put you off movies. Or any of the truly gifted people who were associated with this abomination.
Wood is one of the most talented actors ever to grace the business and the man seems unable to do a bad job on screen. Just check out "Radio Flyer" for evidence. But hey, like I need to tell you, right? But while his acting is on-par with Brando, Guiness, Hopkins, etc; not every movie to come his way compliments his talents. Just after the disastrous misfire "The Good Son," this one floated it's way into theaters like a chunky, nutty, crooked turd after a whole year of improper diet. Adding further insult to injury.
Seriously, I actually picture Jesus H. Christ himself on the cross, thinking to himself, "I died for this... ? If I'd known, I wouldn't have bothered." We all make mistakes, even colossal ones. Even the best of us.
Hell, especially the best of us! Disney was an anti-Semite, L. Ron was a pedophile, R. Crumb is a racist and misogynistic sycophant. And I myself...
In summary, "North, o Puto Maravilha" is a childhood trauma that refuses to be repressed. For many, including myself. Don't let it be yours.
Still, we are all mortal. We are all human. We all make mistakes, we stumble, falter. No one of us are infallible. Rob Reiner has delivered us "When Harry Met Sally," "The Sure Thing," "This Is Spinal Tap," "The Princess Bride" and "The American President." Surely, can't we forgive "North, o Puto Maravilha"? "Only those who dare to fail greatly can achieve greatly."
And Reiner has clearly done both. Let us at this as one of humanity's greatest follies... and try to find laughter in it. Not at the movie itself, which is clearly impossible, but at the movie's expense. Laugh, my children. Laugh, not with, AT, you see.
OK, Mr. Reiner. You are officially forgiven. I already look forward to your next effort behind the camera. May you achieve as big a piece of the rock as fellow '70's-era actor-idol idol Ron Howard.
Good luck, Godspeed... and let's hope--sorry, PRAY another abomination like this isn't in the works.
Peace...
--Love, Dane Youssef
danessf@yahoo.com
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=58175682
http://www.google.com/profiles/youssef.daneyoussefcom.dane
http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/ASKUZHOKQ1W3E/ref=cm_pdp_rev_title_1?ie=UTF8&sort_by=MostRecentReview#R2MFYILVVRXX73
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by Dane Youssef
NOW HERE IS A MOVIE so wrong-headed, wrong-hearted, wrong-made... so wrong, you'd think (or rather, hope) the old axiom of a broken clock that's right twice a day would prove. But nope. Doesn't. By a long shot.
Ah, "North, o Puto Maravilha" The "Showgirls" of family films. Oh wait, "Showgirls" actually has a few fans.
But it is also one of those notorious, infamous for it's absolute awfulness. So much that it has it's own little following of those who just "have to see it to believe it, to see what all the fuss is all about." All this smoke... people want to see the towering inferno.
One of my most depressing experiences as a child was seeing Rob Reiner's "North, o Puto Maravilha" In fact, as extensive internet research has shown me, it was a painful experience for many as children and stayed with him throughout adulthood.
One of the worst movies of the year. One of the worst movies of the decade. One of the worst movies ever made. One of the worst ever. And when I say "worst", I'm comparing it to things like the Plague, Holocaust, World Hunger, AIDS and Leperocy.
Elijah Wood is a wonder-boy who is constantly ignored by his parents despite his best intentions and efforts that make most parents beam like the sun with pride. He spends a lot of time feeling ignored and sits in a chair in a furniture store at the mall to think. He decides he deserves better parents than the ones he's got (who doesn't?) and divorces them. He travels all over the globe and finds surrogate folks which are not right for him. Not loving, caring, nurturing... or very funny or interesting.
His best friend from school is enthusiastic about the divorce and gets the word out to all parents that children deserve better and thing better change or else.
While it is a thrill to see Jason Alexander and Julia Louis-Dreyfus together as a married couple and action legend Bruce Willis in an easter bunny suit... believe me, it doesn't last. The bad outweighs the good. Oh, HOW the bad outweighs... I was actually in physical pain watching how badly the film's plot is handled.
The big-name celebrity bit-players are many: Aykroyd, McEntire, Lovitz, Willis, Greene, Vigoda, Belzer, Stein, Godunov, McGillis, Ritter, Johansson and Arkin; among others.
Films with a big-name cast doing walk-ons is kind of tricky. Often this leads to a bunch of actors embarrassing themselves in bit throwaway roles for a quickie paycheck and "the sake of work." It all really depends on the film itself; the screenplay and director.
When a film with such a high pedigree of actors and filmmaker, Mr. Rob Reiner, you have to wonder why this whole damn thing went so incredibly wrong. And then kept going. And going and going. I am reminded of the legendary quote, "Only those who dare to fail greatly, can achieve greatly." And just about all who flaunt this picture have achieved greatly at one time or another. So... there you go. The Ying to the Yang.
The result can be "Traffic." Or the result can be "Even Cowgirls Get The Blues."
You know, it's funny. When I first saw the trailer, I thought to myself, "Wow. This looks like a good movie. I'm gonna see this one."
And yes, the trailer damn well made this look like a good one. It just goes to show you... advertisements can make anything look appealing. Hey, remember "Babe: Pig In The City?" The ads didn't make the movie look like much. But the movie was... wow.
Hey, come to think of it-- I would like to advise to everyone who was unfortunate enough to see any more of this one that what they used for the trailers (so much as a frame more) to go out and rent "Babe II."
It's an ideal antidote. Of course, you may need a few days of bed-rest and antibiotics right after seeing "North," but after that... please... don't let this one put you off movies. Or any of the truly gifted people who were associated with this abomination.
Wood is one of the most talented actors ever to grace the business and the man seems unable to do a bad job on screen. Just check out "Radio Flyer" for evidence. But hey, like I need to tell you, right? But while his acting is on-par with Brando, Guiness, Hopkins, etc; not every movie to come his way compliments his talents. Just after the disastrous misfire "The Good Son," this one floated it's way into theaters like a chunky, nutty, crooked turd after a whole year of improper diet. Adding further insult to injury.
Seriously, I actually picture Jesus H. Christ himself on the cross, thinking to himself, "I died for this... ? If I'd known, I wouldn't have bothered." We all make mistakes, even colossal ones. Even the best of us.
Hell, especially the best of us! Disney was an anti-Semite, L. Ron was a pedophile, R. Crumb is a racist and misogynistic sycophant. And I myself...
In summary, "North, o Puto Maravilha" is a childhood trauma that refuses to be repressed. For many, including myself. Don't let it be yours.
Still, we are all mortal. We are all human. We all make mistakes, we stumble, falter. No one of us are infallible. Rob Reiner has delivered us "When Harry Met Sally," "The Sure Thing," "This Is Spinal Tap," "The Princess Bride" and "The American President." Surely, can't we forgive "North, o Puto Maravilha"? "Only those who dare to fail greatly can achieve greatly."
And Reiner has clearly done both. Let us at this as one of humanity's greatest follies... and try to find laughter in it. Not at the movie itself, which is clearly impossible, but at the movie's expense. Laugh, my children. Laugh, not with, AT, you see.
OK, Mr. Reiner. You are officially forgiven. I already look forward to your next effort behind the camera. May you achieve as big a piece of the rock as fellow '70's-era actor-idol idol Ron Howard.
Good luck, Godspeed... and let's hope--sorry, PRAY another abomination like this isn't in the works.
Peace...
--Love, Dane Youssef
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Saturday, November 19, 2011
BRIGITTE NIELSEN AS Ludmilla Vobet Drago in "ROCKY IV": A CHARACTER BIOGRAPHY by Dane Youssef
BRIGITTE NIELSEN AS Ludmilla Vobet Drago in "ROCKY IV": A CHARACTER BIOGRAPHY by Dane Youssef
Just as her husband took home the Gold Medal for Amateur Boxing, she herself is also a Gold Medalist athlete. An Olympic swimmer who quite resembles a Swedish Supermodel. She and her husband are dubbed by the press "Smash and Splash." She also seems to be more fluent in the English language, so she plays the part of not only translator, spokesman on his behalf.
She's so proud of him, so in awe. She speaks of him in only glowing terms. When he shows off his superhuman strength and fighting style, she practically glows herself.
Her spouse's first pro fight is an exhibition match in Las Vegas. She's ringside. She and Nikolai exchange looks of confusion at the big opening musical number featuring James Brown. And she takes a drag of cigarette.
Lumidia seems decent and hospitable enough. She even extends a hand and an offer of friendship right before the big fight. It's just a show for Apollo and the crowd. None of the Americans have any idea how serious the Red are taking this little match. It's almost a comeback after losing the Cold War.
This isn't just good clean fun. Ivan fights like he truly hates the former champ.When Drago KO's the Champ in the second round, we see her cruelly smiling in slow motion.
Apollo dies with his gloves on. Ivan is accused of first-degree murder. Threats are made on the lives of the Russians, particularly Ivan. Accusations are bombarded. He is branded as a monster. And maybe he is...
Rocky swears revenge in a way. He challenges the Russian's superhuman boxing technological marvel on Christmas Day.
After a brutal Cold War in the ring between the Italian Stallion and the Siberian Bull, well... suffice to say, America left standing again. Hey, they got the heart. Even though Drago gave a hell of a lot more punches. Stronger punches, even that The Rock did.
And after it's all over, Rocky is given the mike and gives a speech to the all-Russkie crowd who is now pumping their fists in the air and chanting for him, rather than the home team.
Despite her husband getting not only a brutal pummeling... even Lumidia is moved by the Italian Stallion's words.
--For More Than Just One Lady in Russia... and all of the US of A, Dane Youssef
Just as her husband took home the Gold Medal for Amateur Boxing, she herself is also a Gold Medalist athlete. An Olympic swimmer who quite resembles a Swedish Supermodel. She and her husband are dubbed by the press "Smash and Splash." She also seems to be more fluent in the English language, so she plays the part of not only translator, spokesman on his behalf.
She's so proud of him, so in awe. She speaks of him in only glowing terms. When he shows off his superhuman strength and fighting style, she practically glows herself.
Her spouse's first pro fight is an exhibition match in Las Vegas. She's ringside. She and Nikolai exchange looks of confusion at the big opening musical number featuring James Brown. And she takes a drag of cigarette.
Lumidia seems decent and hospitable enough. She even extends a hand and an offer of friendship right before the big fight. It's just a show for Apollo and the crowd. None of the Americans have any idea how serious the Red are taking this little match. It's almost a comeback after losing the Cold War.
This isn't just good clean fun. Ivan fights like he truly hates the former champ.When Drago KO's the Champ in the second round, we see her cruelly smiling in slow motion.
Apollo dies with his gloves on. Ivan is accused of first-degree murder. Threats are made on the lives of the Russians, particularly Ivan. Accusations are bombarded. He is branded as a monster. And maybe he is...
Rocky swears revenge in a way. He challenges the Russian's superhuman boxing technological marvel on Christmas Day.
After a brutal Cold War in the ring between the Italian Stallion and the Siberian Bull, well... suffice to say, America left standing again. Hey, they got the heart. Even though Drago gave a hell of a lot more punches. Stronger punches, even that The Rock did.
And after it's all over, Rocky is given the mike and gives a speech to the all-Russkie crowd who is now pumping their fists in the air and chanting for him, rather than the home team.
Despite her husband getting not only a brutal pummeling... even Lumidia is moved by the Italian Stallion's words.
--For More Than Just One Lady in Russia... and all of the US of A, Dane Youssef
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
RAQUEL... BEAUTY ICON, SEX SYMBOL, SOMETIMES ACTRESS... AND ONCE BALLERINA by Dane Youssef
RAQUEL... BEAUTY ICON, SEX SYMBOL, SOMETIMES ACTRESS... AND ONCE BALLERINA by Dane Youssef
The Golden Globe-winning and long-time cover girl Ms. Jo-Raquel Welch is just one in a long line of classical leading movie starlets who made their start in ballet and planned not on a life on the silver screen, but on the stage as a prima ballerina absolutta with the American Ballet Theatre, The Royal Ballet... even The Bolshoi. Not trying to be Elizabeth Taylor, but Margot Fonteyn.
Raquel herself said in her life story, the tell-autobiography behind the pin-up--"Beyond The Cleavage," that she wanted to be a ballerina, taking it for an entire decade of her life--most of her childhood. From seven to seventeen.
When Ms. Welch spoke of her, " She cut quite a striking figure with her long silver hair cascading down her back, well past her waist. She would put it up with exotic-looking combs during class. Irene Clark was not at all like the typical La Jolla matron. She was an artiste. She conducted class by tapping an ornately carved cane with a silver tip like a rhythmic metronome to the count of Les Sylphides."
She admitted to having not only a case of hero worship on her childhood dance teacher, but a romantic Jones on the older lady as well. Why? Well, she was a strong female figure with a command of the whole practice of ballet--she dominated this form with attitude and style to spare. The same way every aspiring dancer looks to their coach with a mixture of awe and idol worship. They emulate their commanding officer, the way stem cells imitate their host. "You are everything I want to be... everything I will try to be..."
And her professor of ballet, Raquel's de factor sergeant of the art of classical dance eventually told her after ten years that her adult body had fermented to a type that would not make for a good ballerina. A set of broad line-backer shoulders a good mile apart, a considerable set of crushing breasts, a considerable 5'6"stature--kind of lanky for a lady. She tells us, "This ballet goddess had broken my heart. I emulated her. All I wanted to do was to be like her. I was destroyed all at once like any innocent girl is when she hears 'I don't love you back.' "
At the ripening age of seventeen, she kicked the habit of classical ballet, along with the childhood dreams of being a classical danseuse. But in her very own words--written in her own life story: "All those years of ballet had sculpted a near perfect body... racehorse legs, a very slender waist, great strength and flexibility--not to mention confidence."
She's not the only one--a lot of actresses who practiced "the ballet" as kids and eventually moved on... walked away with a lot of the same--benefits, attitude and all. Ballet wasn't just something they did--it was what they became. Actresses such as Audrey Hepburn, Neve Campbell, Jenna Elfman, Amanda Schull, Zoe Salanda, Jennifer Grey, Lea Thompson, Shirley MacLaine, Natalie Portman, Teri Polo, Marin Hinkle and Amy Smart. Just looking at them now, seeing how they act and behave in life, how they carry themselves--you can clearly see the influence that has never left them.
Just like the boys--men such as Charlie Sheen, Warren Beatty, Ed O' Neil, Rick Fox, Alex Karras, Ed Mariano and Chuck Connors who played traditional sports (you know, the kind with balls) did in their salad days. Sports--it's not just another form of exercise, it's a very way of life. It was theirs.
Now just look at Ms. Welch's body all those years ago (as if I actually have to talk you into it) and look at her body today. Look what the way of ballet has done to her--no, FOR her. And what it's done to all others who've happened to take it--and mean it. I have myself and I know what I'm talking about.
Oh, she still has a soft spot for it--she's still eternally grateful. She took similar exercises throughout the course of her entire life--cheerleading, swimming, aerobics, etc. She always stood like a prominent ballerina. If you don't keep at it, you lose it completely--like any other sport. But once you've really attained it, you have that way... that air of ease, that essence... that je ne sais quoi. And it's pure magic. It's helped a lot of people find their way, even those who found a way outside of ballet itself.
Sports do tend to do that, don't they? Hell, that's what they're there for. That's why they've lasted so many thousands of years--they tell you so much about life while speaking as little as possible.... but we're always listening.
--A Modern-Day Raquel Welch Fan, Dane Youssef
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The Golden Globe-winning and long-time cover girl Ms. Jo-Raquel Welch is just one in a long line of classical leading movie starlets who made their start in ballet and planned not on a life on the silver screen, but on the stage as a prima ballerina absolutta with the American Ballet Theatre, The Royal Ballet... even The Bolshoi. Not trying to be Elizabeth Taylor, but Margot Fonteyn.
Raquel herself said in her life story, the tell-autobiography behind the pin-up--"Beyond The Cleavage," that she wanted to be a ballerina, taking it for an entire decade of her life--most of her childhood. From seven to seventeen.
When Ms. Welch spoke of her, " She cut quite a striking figure with her long silver hair cascading down her back, well past her waist. She would put it up with exotic-looking combs during class. Irene Clark was not at all like the typical La Jolla matron. She was an artiste. She conducted class by tapping an ornately carved cane with a silver tip like a rhythmic metronome to the count of Les Sylphides."
She admitted to having not only a case of hero worship on her childhood dance teacher, but a romantic Jones on the older lady as well. Why? Well, she was a strong female figure with a command of the whole practice of ballet--she dominated this form with attitude and style to spare. The same way every aspiring dancer looks to their coach with a mixture of awe and idol worship. They emulate their commanding officer, the way stem cells imitate their host. "You are everything I want to be... everything I will try to be..."
And her professor of ballet, Raquel's de factor sergeant of the art of classical dance eventually told her after ten years that her adult body had fermented to a type that would not make for a good ballerina. A set of broad line-backer shoulders a good mile apart, a considerable set of crushing breasts, a considerable 5'6"stature--kind of lanky for a lady. She tells us, "This ballet goddess had broken my heart. I emulated her. All I wanted to do was to be like her. I was destroyed all at once like any innocent girl is when she hears 'I don't love you back.' "
At the ripening age of seventeen, she kicked the habit of classical ballet, along with the childhood dreams of being a classical danseuse. But in her very own words--written in her own life story: "All those years of ballet had sculpted a near perfect body... racehorse legs, a very slender waist, great strength and flexibility--not to mention confidence."
She's not the only one--a lot of actresses who practiced "the ballet" as kids and eventually moved on... walked away with a lot of the same--benefits, attitude and all. Ballet wasn't just something they did--it was what they became. Actresses such as Audrey Hepburn, Neve Campbell, Jenna Elfman, Amanda Schull, Zoe Salanda, Jennifer Grey, Lea Thompson, Shirley MacLaine, Natalie Portman, Teri Polo, Marin Hinkle and Amy Smart. Just looking at them now, seeing how they act and behave in life, how they carry themselves--you can clearly see the influence that has never left them.
Just like the boys--men such as Charlie Sheen, Warren Beatty, Ed O' Neil, Rick Fox, Alex Karras, Ed Mariano and Chuck Connors who played traditional sports (you know, the kind with balls) did in their salad days. Sports--it's not just another form of exercise, it's a very way of life. It was theirs.
Now just look at Ms. Welch's body all those years ago (as if I actually have to talk you into it) and look at her body today. Look what the way of ballet has done to her--no, FOR her. And what it's done to all others who've happened to take it--and mean it. I have myself and I know what I'm talking about.
Oh, she still has a soft spot for it--she's still eternally grateful. She took similar exercises throughout the course of her entire life--cheerleading, swimming, aerobics, etc. She always stood like a prominent ballerina. If you don't keep at it, you lose it completely--like any other sport. But once you've really attained it, you have that way... that air of ease, that essence... that je ne sais quoi. And it's pure magic. It's helped a lot of people find their way, even those who found a way outside of ballet itself.
Sports do tend to do that, don't they? Hell, that's what they're there for. That's why they've lasted so many thousands of years--they tell you so much about life while speaking as little as possible.... but we're always listening.
--A Modern-Day Raquel Welch Fan, Dane Youssef
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Wednesday, June 29, 2011
JULIE KENT AS KATHLEEN DONAHUE FROM "CENTER STAGE" (2000) A CHARACTER BIOGRAPHY by Dane Youssef
JULIE KENT AS KATHLEEN DONAHUE FROM "CENTER STAGE" (2000): A CHARACTER BIOGRAPHY
by Dane Youssef
As delicate and willowy as a prima ballerina should be, the star, the plum of the American Ballet Company--because of her breaktaking abilites onstage and her goddess stage presence.
But mostly because of her career-securing decison to marry the American Ballet Company's Artistic Director, Johnathan Reeves.
Kathleen Donahue is not just an ABC principal--she is ABC's ballerina absolutta (absolute prime ballerina for those of you unfamiliar with the lingo). But even the distinguished Kathleen is not on par with ballet's current grandmaster Cooper Nielsen, who is now on the same mantel as Baryshnikov, Nijinsky and Nureyev.
Just after a lengthly relationship of years as Nielsen's girlfriend, her attention and attraction began waning towards the company's headstrong and passionate director, Johnathan Reeves. They began having an affair--the traditional tawdry kind. And when Kathleen has successfully fallen in love with Reeves and out with Cooper, we hear that she's chosen to drop the "Dear John" bomb on him right in the middle of a dance rehersal--no doubt assuming that he won't make a scene in public.
She was dead wrong. He had a meltdown in front of the entire company, throwing plenty of impolite words in her direction. Snubbed and emotionally shattered, he takes leave of ABC to be a guest artist with the famed Royal Ballet in London.
Nielsen may currently be the best there is, but Johnathan was the one who could assure her job security.
But more likely, there is a moment near the end of the movie where someone tells Nielsen, "You're an amazing dancer and you're a great choreographer. But as a boyfriend, you kind of suck." So maybe Kathy had the right idea all along.
Since the great Nielsen's departure from ABC, the feelings and relationship of Reeves and Donahue continue to ferment. Eventually (and thankfully), Cooper returned to the US of A and to the ABC. He wasn't about this one embarassing relationship mishap make him go into hiding forever. And he still is the brightest star ever to come out of the ABC, even more so than current artistic director and current significant other of Kathleen Donahue, Johnathan Reeves.
To celebrate his grand return to the company, he re-unites with his former lover (as a dance partner only) and the two perform a rendition of Sir Kenneth MacMillan 's "Romeo & Juliet." The piece is greeted with the expected raves and teary-eyes. The two seem to be re-united as more than just dance partners.
Yet when Cooper plants a passionate kiss on her elegant swan-like neck at the reception, she takes him aside and tells him in no uncetain terms that it's over and it's been over. They're dance partners, she tells him. Nothing more. But Cooper's abilites as a dance don't just overshadow Kathleen. He seems to take limelight away from her husband as well.
Which may very well explain why Reeves resent Cooper so much--that and the fact that Cooper used to bone his wife. Kathleen cheated on Cooper with Johnathan and now there are clues hinting that she's now making time with Cooper behind Johnathan's back.
Perhaps.
She gives Cooper a look when ABC's least promising (yet most determined) pupil gives him a box of cookies after their one-night stand ("so you'll have some for next time"). And at a performance, she seems to have some kind of issue with dear Jody comes to see their duet. Kathleen hints at her being a stalker. "You are in big trouble," she tells him. Though he goes home with another woman.
Just looking at Kathleen, you can tell she's a prima ballerina. Her face, her body, her walk, her way. She has a graceful, trained "ballerina way" of just being. Even heraring her speak. Everything about her says, "I've spent my whole life working towards the creme de la creme of ballet. I was born to be a ballerina." Even looking at her childhood pictures, you can tell--ballet is what her body was ideally designed for, what she was born to do. Like a chipmunk OD'ing on helium.
But Dear Jody envies her--as does every aspiring ballerina who crosses her path. She's what they all aspire to be.
--For The Fictitious Prima Ballerina Absolutta Standing At The "Center Stage," Dane Youssef
by Dane Youssef
As delicate and willowy as a prima ballerina should be, the star, the plum of the American Ballet Company--because of her breaktaking abilites onstage and her goddess stage presence.
But mostly because of her career-securing decison to marry the American Ballet Company's Artistic Director, Johnathan Reeves.
Kathleen Donahue is not just an ABC principal--she is ABC's ballerina absolutta (absolute prime ballerina for those of you unfamiliar with the lingo). But even the distinguished Kathleen is not on par with ballet's current grandmaster Cooper Nielsen, who is now on the same mantel as Baryshnikov, Nijinsky and Nureyev.
Just after a lengthly relationship of years as Nielsen's girlfriend, her attention and attraction began waning towards the company's headstrong and passionate director, Johnathan Reeves. They began having an affair--the traditional tawdry kind. And when Kathleen has successfully fallen in love with Reeves and out with Cooper, we hear that she's chosen to drop the "Dear John" bomb on him right in the middle of a dance rehersal--no doubt assuming that he won't make a scene in public.
She was dead wrong. He had a meltdown in front of the entire company, throwing plenty of impolite words in her direction. Snubbed and emotionally shattered, he takes leave of ABC to be a guest artist with the famed Royal Ballet in London.
Nielsen may currently be the best there is, but Johnathan was the one who could assure her job security.
But more likely, there is a moment near the end of the movie where someone tells Nielsen, "You're an amazing dancer and you're a great choreographer. But as a boyfriend, you kind of suck." So maybe Kathy had the right idea all along.
Since the great Nielsen's departure from ABC, the feelings and relationship of Reeves and Donahue continue to ferment. Eventually (and thankfully), Cooper returned to the US of A and to the ABC. He wasn't about this one embarassing relationship mishap make him go into hiding forever. And he still is the brightest star ever to come out of the ABC, even more so than current artistic director and current significant other of Kathleen Donahue, Johnathan Reeves.
To celebrate his grand return to the company, he re-unites with his former lover (as a dance partner only) and the two perform a rendition of Sir Kenneth MacMillan 's "Romeo & Juliet." The piece is greeted with the expected raves and teary-eyes. The two seem to be re-united as more than just dance partners.
Yet when Cooper plants a passionate kiss on her elegant swan-like neck at the reception, she takes him aside and tells him in no uncetain terms that it's over and it's been over. They're dance partners, she tells him. Nothing more. But Cooper's abilites as a dance don't just overshadow Kathleen. He seems to take limelight away from her husband as well.
Which may very well explain why Reeves resent Cooper so much--that and the fact that Cooper used to bone his wife. Kathleen cheated on Cooper with Johnathan and now there are clues hinting that she's now making time with Cooper behind Johnathan's back.
Perhaps.
She gives Cooper a look when ABC's least promising (yet most determined) pupil gives him a box of cookies after their one-night stand ("so you'll have some for next time"). And at a performance, she seems to have some kind of issue with dear Jody comes to see their duet. Kathleen hints at her being a stalker. "You are in big trouble," she tells him. Though he goes home with another woman.
Just looking at Kathleen, you can tell she's a prima ballerina. Her face, her body, her walk, her way. She has a graceful, trained "ballerina way" of just being. Even heraring her speak. Everything about her says, "I've spent my whole life working towards the creme de la creme of ballet. I was born to be a ballerina." Even looking at her childhood pictures, you can tell--ballet is what her body was ideally designed for, what she was born to do. Like a chipmunk OD'ing on helium.
But Dear Jody envies her--as does every aspiring ballerina who crosses her path. She's what they all aspire to be.
--For The Fictitious Prima Ballerina Absolutta Standing At The "Center Stage," Dane Youssef
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
LEA THOMPSON, DANSEUSE by Dane Youssef
LEA, DANSEUSE
by Dane Youssef
I myself am a dancer of ballet and have been for over a decade now. There were many dancers who inspired me. I was especially inspired by actors who switched their majors from ballet, but still kept it in their hearts throughout the course of their lives--Audrey Hepburn, Raquel Welch, Neve Campbell, Sean Young, Chris Cooper, Sarah Jessica Parker, Liza Minnelli, Marin Hinkle, Paige Turco, Alexander Godunov, Lisa Neimi... and Lea Thompson.
Of all the glossies of Lea circulating online, this is my personal favorite. Why? 'Cause a lot of them show off the playful side of her in that Julia Roberts- starlet sort of way, but this one sort of defines who she is. As a great glamorous actress and a prima ballerina at heart.
Here, you can sort of see both sides to the great as LEA KATHERINE THOMPSON.
She's in some kind of workout studio here. Above the waist, she's dressed to kill. Below, she's just finishing up her workout.
The upper-half of her body, she's got a long lavish, fiery-red hairstyle. She has a very strong chiseled face you can see under that mop-wig of crimson hair. A dressy white shirt worthy of Calvin Klein, that long elegant pearl necklace. The kind only a ritzy multi-billionaire iconic movie-starlet would have around her neck.
But on the lower-half of her "spendifierous" shaped body, she's donning ankle-tights and from where I sit, showing off her "ballet feet."
For those who might be ignorant on such a term, "ballet feet" are what one customizes their feet best to do ballet. People do this by a lot of foot exercises called Pointe. Shirley MacLaine, also an aspiring ballerina in her youth referred to them as "beautifully constructed feet." They're not just very nice to look at. Such feet are needed on the dance floor.
Those a-feet of hers have been pounding the hardwood while she's been working the barre like it's the only thing keeping her alive.
Lea herself certainly has 'em, you can see that here--very high curved sculpted arches, an even more highly sculpted instep at the top and an nearly-impossibly flexible ankle--that of a contortionist. My guess is even though she's not at any ballet theatre, she still practices--keeping it up so as not to lose that ballerina inside of her.
She's got arches as high as thriving cornstalks. You can tell her ankles are flexible, strong as can be. She's a real She-Ra. Very strong.
Half posh movie-starlet, half hard-working ballerina. There is a part of her, that is still a dancer. A professional prima ballerina. With those ebony leggings on, you can see those legs of hers are shapely, very nice. Fine calf muscles, slender yet strong. Solid muscle tone. Ballet has clearly been good to her.
Well, to a fault. I mean, she herself has said she left The American Ballet Theatre and professional ballet forever because: "I had some nagging little injuries. My vertebrae had been fused." Hey, we all have our battle scars. Our old war injuries. All it means is that you were there, that you're an athlete. Take pride.
Here it looks like she still has the ballet in her, the American Principal.
I've always thought of ballet dancers as so celestial, divine beings from another higher plane. From above.
Although she didn't make it in dance professional. Lea finally 86'ed her tights and Pointe Shoes after ballet icon Mikhail Baryshnikov told her she was " beautiful dancer, but too stocky." She didn't have just that exact body for the life. She couldn't touch a crumb of desserts. Funnily enough, her older brother who also took ballet as a child, went on to go pro and maintained a life-long career in the biz.
I do love this shot. I even have a copy posted in my room next to my other ballet icons---Look, she's even modeling this photo in a ballet studio. It seems real. You can almost smell the perspiration from her and the other dancers working it all out through there, making this their life. Here, Lea is free to be.
--For Lea, The Prima Ballerina, Dane Youssef
danessf@yahoo.com
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=58175682
http://www.google.com/profiles/youssef.daneyoussefcom.dane
http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/ASKUZHOKQ1W3E/ref=cm_pdp_rev_title_1?ie=UTF8&sort_by=MostRecentReview#R2MFYILVVRXX73
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by Dane Youssef
I myself am a dancer of ballet and have been for over a decade now. There were many dancers who inspired me. I was especially inspired by actors who switched their majors from ballet, but still kept it in their hearts throughout the course of their lives--Audrey Hepburn, Raquel Welch, Neve Campbell, Sean Young, Chris Cooper, Sarah Jessica Parker, Liza Minnelli, Marin Hinkle, Paige Turco, Alexander Godunov, Lisa Neimi... and Lea Thompson.
Of all the glossies of Lea circulating online, this is my personal favorite. Why? 'Cause a lot of them show off the playful side of her in that Julia Roberts- starlet sort of way, but this one sort of defines who she is. As a great glamorous actress and a prima ballerina at heart.
Here, you can sort of see both sides to the great as LEA KATHERINE THOMPSON.
She's in some kind of workout studio here. Above the waist, she's dressed to kill. Below, she's just finishing up her workout.
The upper-half of her body, she's got a long lavish, fiery-red hairstyle. She has a very strong chiseled face you can see under that mop-wig of crimson hair. A dressy white shirt worthy of Calvin Klein, that long elegant pearl necklace. The kind only a ritzy multi-billionaire iconic movie-starlet would have around her neck.
But on the lower-half of her "spendifierous" shaped body, she's donning ankle-tights and from where I sit, showing off her "ballet feet."
For those who might be ignorant on such a term, "ballet feet" are what one customizes their feet best to do ballet. People do this by a lot of foot exercises called Pointe. Shirley MacLaine, also an aspiring ballerina in her youth referred to them as "beautifully constructed feet." They're not just very nice to look at. Such feet are needed on the dance floor.
Those a-feet of hers have been pounding the hardwood while she's been working the barre like it's the only thing keeping her alive.
Lea herself certainly has 'em, you can see that here--very high curved sculpted arches, an even more highly sculpted instep at the top and an nearly-impossibly flexible ankle--that of a contortionist. My guess is even though she's not at any ballet theatre, she still practices--keeping it up so as not to lose that ballerina inside of her.
She's got arches as high as thriving cornstalks. You can tell her ankles are flexible, strong as can be. She's a real She-Ra. Very strong.
Half posh movie-starlet, half hard-working ballerina. There is a part of her, that is still a dancer. A professional prima ballerina. With those ebony leggings on, you can see those legs of hers are shapely, very nice. Fine calf muscles, slender yet strong. Solid muscle tone. Ballet has clearly been good to her.
Well, to a fault. I mean, she herself has said she left The American Ballet Theatre and professional ballet forever because: "I had some nagging little injuries. My vertebrae had been fused." Hey, we all have our battle scars. Our old war injuries. All it means is that you were there, that you're an athlete. Take pride.
Here it looks like she still has the ballet in her, the American Principal.
I've always thought of ballet dancers as so celestial, divine beings from another higher plane. From above.
Although she didn't make it in dance professional. Lea finally 86'ed her tights and Pointe Shoes after ballet icon Mikhail Baryshnikov told her she was " beautiful dancer, but too stocky." She didn't have just that exact body for the life. She couldn't touch a crumb of desserts. Funnily enough, her older brother who also took ballet as a child, went on to go pro and maintained a life-long career in the biz.
I do love this shot. I even have a copy posted in my room next to my other ballet icons---Look, she's even modeling this photo in a ballet studio. It seems real. You can almost smell the perspiration from her and the other dancers working it all out through there, making this their life. Here, Lea is free to be.
--For Lea, The Prima Ballerina, Dane Youssef
danessf@yahoo.com
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=58175682
http://www.google.com/profiles/youssef.daneyoussefcom.dane
http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/ASKUZHOKQ1W3E/ref=cm_pdp_rev_title_1?ie=UTF8&sort_by=MostRecentReview#R2MFYILVVRXX73
http://www.imdb.com/user/ur2718160/comments-expanded?start=0&order=alpha
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/User:DANE_YOUSSEF
http://www.epinions.com/user-surfur
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:DANE_YOUSSEF
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:SURFUR
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/User:DANEYOUSSEF
http://www.movieweb.com/u/dane_youssef/reviews
http://www.youtube.com/SURFUR
http://www.youtube.com/user/DaneYoussef?feature=mhum
http://hairmetal.ning.com/profile/DaneYoussef?xg_source=activity
http://www.flickr.com/people/46939743@N07/
http://twitter.com/Dane_Youssef
http://www.neoseeker.com/members/daneyoussef/
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